Dear Creationists...

Alright, so I've been reading some hilarious fundamentalist quotes from FSTDT spurred on by this awesome video sent to me by fellow blogger Dye-Go. This stuff always gets me laughing and also angry at the absurdity of the ignorance in the world. So dear creationist, I have a few things to say to you that you will undoubtedly not take to heart:


1. The "Theory" of Evolution as you so enthusiastically insist on emphasizing, may be a "theory" but that doesn't mean that it's close to being wrong. I don't know if you noticed, but the guy who came up with that "Theory" was a whole crapload smarter than you and he lived in the 1860s. Actually, "theories" (scientific ones at least) that last for over a century and have empirical evidence to support them usually have some merit, especially when you can observe living examples of it and have overwhelming acceptance of influential scientists. When bacterium mutate to adapt to antibiotics, that is literal, observable evidence of evolution. It's only really a theory because there's debate over how exactly it happens (and we're pretty sure on that), not whether it happens at all. There are really very few theories that get to become laws anyways. Especially in biology.

2. Scientists don't use big words because they want to confuse you. You're just fucking stupid. Actually, it's to their dismay when you don't understand simple concepts. As much as they try to lay it out for you, you just really refuse to listen. Deoxyribonucleic acid isn't a big word to confuse you, it's the name of a chemical. I won't even humor you with explaining why not all acids dissolve things.

3. LISTEN!!! Like, holy shit, when an "evolutionist" tries to explain something, try to just listen. Hear them out. It's not that complicated. I love the question: "If humans really did evolve from monkeys, how come babies aren't born monkeys?" OR "It took several million years for a monkey to turn into a man? Oh right, monkeys don't live several million years". This is flat out failing to try to grasp a concept altogether. Maybe you should try to just open your ears. Or close one because things just go in one and out the other.

4. It just sounds silly when you say that the earth is only 6 thousand years old. There are cultures that we know were around for well past that time, let alone all the other sheer overwhelming evidence from the fossil record. Why does it sound more likely to you that a magical man in the sky put rocks and carbon dating there to test your faith than that the earth is just really old. It's not even that damning to your religion. I mean if people are able to believe the magical man in the sky thing, I'm pretty sure they'll be cool with the earth being old thing.

I have some more stuff to say so there might eventually be a part 2 to this post. I feel ranty today.

Chris Murray Quote of the Week: July 26/10

If I ever have kids--and I probably wont, I'm going to name at least one of them Gyarados.

God is Ego.

Today I had the unpleasant experience of getting into an argument with my boss about God. As an Atheist you know which stance I took but he defended his claims that there is an omnipotent force watching over us out there. His proof was that there must be something out there because karma exists. He says that there is a balance of positive and negative energy. Blah blah blah... "The Secret". He didn't specifically say "The Secret" but he used the same bullshit reasoning that if you send positive energy out into the universe through the laws of attraction positive things will come back to you. Despite the fact that brainwaves and good deeds don't have charges, and if they did, as most people know (or don't), opposites attract and like charges repel. Through this logic, good thoughts or "energy" would attract bad things. Therefore, everyone should do terrible things to each other.

Anyways, as I delicately attempted to pick apart his stupid "logic" and pseudoscientific reasoning he said to me something like: "yes, maybe those good things are coincidences but I truly believe that some things are gifts for doing good..." blah blah blah he tells me about something good that happened to him. This is a reasoning that a lot of people use to "prove" the existence of a higher power. The fact is, when you receive something out of the blue, there are millions upon millions of people who receive nothing. Let me use the lottery as an example. One day there's a guy who kind of believes there might be something out there but is teetering on the belief scale. But he wins millions of dollars in the lottery one day and all of the sudden it's a gift from God. God obviously loves him and that is why he won, it's not the one in 100 million chance that randomly happened to be his numbers. I realized that a large amount of people gain faith when they win the lottery (see that lottery show that I can't remember the name of but just started on TV). This is an entirely egoistic point of view. These people believe that they were special enough to be chosen by God to win the lottery. They forgot about the part where millions of other people lost 10 bucks. The same goes for the less extreme examples of where you received X because of good karma.

What I want to say is that the Universe is fucking gigantic. I mean, it is huge to the point of disbelief. That in itself is really amazing and if I were to be a believer it would be that. Of course, then you have to realize that a "creator" would have probably invented the universe and then lost interest in the pitiful lives of us insignificant, lowly humans. Saying that you deserve something more than others in a cosmic sense is borderline retarded. Not only with winning things or not dying in a car crash or whatever, but also with things like faith healing. While you may have miraculously recovered from some ailment, it doesn't take away the fact that probably thousands of other people died from that same ailment and you are frankly the anomaly in the percentage that survived. Crazy, unpredictable, unlikely things happen. In fact, if it can happen, it probably will happen some percentage of the time. It doesn't mean that someone is looking out for you alone. If you believe that, you are narrow-mindedly closing yourself out from the harsh realities of the rest of the suffering in the world.

Therefore, God is often the interpretation that narrow-mined people have about random chance since they don't understand statistical probability. If you have a reason for believing in God, please don't let it be good things happening to you. If you live in a first-world country, good things have a high probability of happening to you. Please, readers, weigh in. That is all.

When I'm bored I can do stupid things.

Today I made a parody of the 3 year old crying over Justin Bieber.



Stupid or really awesome? I think both.

Dear News Networks...

When there's nothing on I usually watch CNN. *readers snarl* Yes I know it's an American news network but I always find American news more interesting and distressing than Canadian news and compared to Fox news it's pretty good. If I had MSNBC I would probably watch that. Anyways, I find it fun to look out for things that the Daily Show will probably make fun of later in the night. But I digress, the thing that has recently begun to bother me is that twitter has become a source of news for many networks. Not only twitter but also facebook and this stupid iReport thing where people send in their comments. What I would like to say to these networks is that you are evidently lazy and your viewers are mostly stupid. I don't want to hear from them. Also, opinion polls mean nothing. Why do i care what percentage of CNN viewers think that the Oil Spill sucks? WE KNOW IT SUCKS!
So dear news networks, stop going to your viewers for their opinions. You're so obviously trying to eat up time and trying too look more balanced. It's really silly.
I don't know where exactly that's going but it's just something that pisses me off.

Chris Murray Quote of the Week: July 19/10

Man, the special ed teacher is hot! I wish I was retarded.

Change in plans...

I've decided that since I probably won't get a whole lot of followers anyways, I should probably not limit my audience to Atheists. Plus, everyone has heard the same points time and time again. Not to say I won't occasionally direct my attention to those topics but I don't want to get myself into a corner. I've also come to realize that Atheist blogs sometimes suck because instead of drawing in smart people, they draw in religious fundamentalists that spam the crap out of their pages with unfounded rhetoric. Maybe when I get back to studying philosophy full-time I'll be more inspired to go that way but for the meantime I might as well just post about random nonsense. Good news, I'll be transplanting Chris Murray quotes of the week here from Facebook. For those of you who don't know, my brother has a knack of saying hilarious and/or offensive things without trying to and I think he deserves a spot here.

Also, I'd like to note that I have no idea how to write a good blog so my strategy is to just write whatever with no particular organization.