20 years old - Another Year Older, Another Year Closer to Death.

And I still can't rent a car.

Today is my 20th birthday. I used to get excited by my birthday but I've noticed the past couple of years that it's gotten pretty unexciting. A birthday nowadays is more or less an excuse to get completely wasted. As fun as that is, the consequence of getting a year older is that every year seems less and less important. There's a reason that time seems to go by faster and faster the older that you get. The more time you spend alive, the shorter a year is in relative terms. Man, when I turned 7, that was a big deal. Know why? Because a year was 14% of my life. Now a year only constitutes 5% of my life. That's barely significant at all. Every year that we tack on, the shorter a year gets in relative terms. Is it weird for me to be scared that I'm gonna wake up one day soon and realize that I'm 82? Nobody wants to be 82. That would suck.



A mostly unrelated picture that makes me smile. ---------->>>
Fuck off, it's my birthday. I'll put an unrelated picture if I want to.



Anyways, I just felt like complaining about something that everyone goes through and nobody can change. It's my party and I'll complain if I want to. Just saying, life is really fucking short. Every moment is very fleeting and it gets more fleeting the further along you go. I'll write a blog sometime soon about the nature of time. In the meantime, I'm going to work on the massive post that I keep promising and haven't finished. Not that anyone really cares if I keep my promise or not...

Also, here's a picture of an adorable kitty.


UPDATE: Earlier I mistakenly wrote that 1/20 is equal to 0.5. This is entirely incorrect. A year in the life of a 20 year-old is actually equal to 5%. But one day, when I turn 200, it'll be equal to 0.5. With medical technology, I don't think that's entirely unreasonable.

My Psychoactive Experience

This post is dedicated to Josh Kay. Thanks for cleaning up the vomit man.

Almost two years ago I had a crazy psychoactive experience. So everyone knows, I have never done any hallucinogenic drugs.

It was 2009 and I had just made a delicious salad at my now ex-girlfriend's house. I put on some ranch dressing and gobbled down my food quickly as I always do. When it comes to eating for me, it's shoot first, ask questions later. After eating this bowl of salad, I was bored waiting for my ex to finish her own food so I read the ingredients and other written facts on the back of the bottle. There, on the lid, clearly labeled, were the words - best before 07.05. Yes, you read that correct, 2005. As in the dressing was expired for 4 years. My ex's grandmother had a habit of holding on to old things. At the time I didn't feel sick so I didn't worry much about it. I knew it was a bad thing to eat expired salad dressing but I didn't quite grasp how bad.

A few hours later I was sitting around my friend's garage as I always did, just shooting the shit and you know, doing things that people who are unemployed (or employed part-time as I was), and not in school do for fun. All of the sudden, everyone's voice got distant and my head ached terribly. I closed my eyes to reduce the light sensitivity as all of the colours seemed to get more vibrant. With my eyes closed, and light shining through my eyelids, the hallucinations began. I got flashes of strange shapes and colours that seem strangely familiar, reminding me somehow of my childhood. The room started spinning and upon opening my eyes, all of the room was filled with these indescribable apparitions. My friends had no idea what's going on with me, I just seemed off in my own world. I closed my eyes again and felt like I was spinning around in a roller chair. It's then that I started to feel sick to my stomach and the hallucinations go from bad to worse. The products of my cubist painting world seem to be tormenting me. I felt like I was going to die.




My field of vision kinda looked like this -->






I got up because-as I exclaimed, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" and I ran outside where I puked all over my friend's grass. The vomiting went on for a good while until all of the contents of my stomach spilled onto the grass. You know when you burp and you can taste the hot dog you had two days ago? Ever puke and see the hot dog you had two days ago? I did. Disgustingness aside, vomiting completely cleared my mind. That's how I knew such an experience was due to the dressing and not due to any other substances I may or may not have inhaled that night. I have not had a psychoactive experience since then but just tonight I was reminiscing about it and decided to search the internet for anyone having that same experience as me from ingesting salad dressing. The search turned up nothing. It seems that there is nobody else dumb enough to eat salad dressing that expired. In fact, from the search, I have learned that I might be lucky to have survived the experience. Eating dressing even a couple months expired can give you very bad food poisoning that in some cases leads to death. This is especially true with creamy dressings that are made with milk products. Mold grows well in those products. I think that the dressing was so expired that my body rejected it hard core, maybe saving my life.

Anyways, that was my experience with hallucinogens. Doing some research, the effects I felt are similar to the effects felt by people on mescaline. So in a way, I've kinda done peyote. If anyone else has eaten expired salad dressing and hallucinated, please let me know. I wanna know if it's just me.

Also, I sincerely apologize, followers. Not just for this pointless post, but for having been gone so long, and having promised a monster post on facebook. It's in the process. I promise. Should be up tomorrow as I finish writing on the train. It comes with a new gimick...ahem...I mean...segment. Look forward to it. But not too much. Don't want your expectations to get too high.